Happy New Year!
by Fish-Inton
Summary: New year has always been the same for Clarice... but this one has an extra special difference...


HAPPY NEW YEAR!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, no matter how I try I never will. started writing this on a boring teenage new year. Happy Birthday 2 Tony Hopkins!  
  
Clarice Starling sat, cross-legged on the couch, a glass of JDs in one hand, TV remote in the other. It was new years eve; she was flicking through all the channels she could just to pass the time. Clarice had been watching MTV, Kerrang and P-rock, until she got bored and decided to browse though the movies. Suddenly, the phone rang, making her look away from the TV screen, picking up the receiver, a voice said:  
  
"Hello,"  
  
"Hi, this is Starling," she spoke down the phone.  
  
"Would you be interested in buying some double-glazing? Last years stock at low, low prices!"  
  
Clarice slammed the phone down. it started ringing again,  
  
"Jesus Christ! I don't want ANY double-glazing! Okay? If you call once more, I'll complain!" Clarice was slightly angered at the reply she got.  
  
"Well, I must admit, Clarice, I've never started a phone conversation in that manner, but hey! I'm still not up-to-date, as it may seem, on all the recent telephone trends." the metallic voice paused, for effect "or are you getting swamped by phone salesmen?"  
  
"Doctor Lecter?" She both questioned and stated at the same time.  
  
"Mmmm?" He replied, relaxed and amused at the same time.  
  
"Er. hi. sorry, I don't need double-glazing. I hate phone advertisers too. umm. how're you?"  
  
"Hello, Clarice. I have double-glazing also, I agree and I am fine. just peachy to be precise." He sounded a little weird on the phone. Clarice began to giggle.  
  
"What's so funny?" Queried the Good Doctor, innocently.  
  
"You sound really funny on the phone, that's what's so funny!" She stopped herself from giggling and calmed down.  
  
"Oh, riiiiight." the doctor was confused.  
  
"Nice to know you're fine."  
  
"You too." He said in a conversationally friendly tone.  
  
"Er. happy New Year?" She was pretty much at a loss of things to say to Him.  
  
"Yes, it is actually." He sounded smug for some reason.  
  
"Are you okay? You haven't snorted a line of red ants have you? 'Cos you sound weird and you're talking weird and it's getting a little weird at the moment, Doctor Lecter."  
  
"It's New Year! I'm entitled to weirdness!" he continued. "So how's life without the F-B-I?" She had been dropped a few months ago and had a great job as a museum night guard, although she'd opted to take the Christmas and new year holidays off work, rest and relaxation. women need it, no matter who they are.  
  
"Pretty much fine and who said weirdness was a bad thing, I'm accustomed to it by now, don't you think?" She heard a soft chuckle before he replied.  
  
"I believe you for once! You sound well, happy New Year to you too Clarice, are you doing anything?" He was angling for an invite, rather obviously.  
  
"Okay, Doctor Lecter, no I'm not doing anything other than attempt to have a JD and Coke and watch a movie." She stopped.  
  
"What movie?"  
  
"I really don't know. look, it's not exactly difficult to tell that you've got nothing to do, so why don't you let yourself in? No doubt you were just passing in the neighbourhood." She knew she'd struck a chord there. There was a silence.  
  
"I'll be there in. say about. 5 minutes. okay?"  
  
"Great, just peachy!"  
  
"See ya round, Clarice." She was greeted by the sound of the dial tone and hung-up the phone, turned the TV down a little and poured the Doctor a JD and Coke, she wondered if being weird included getting a psychopath and famous cannibal drunk and hung-over. Clarice began to form a devious plot in her head.  
  
HOW TO GET A CANNIBAL DRUNK--- WITHOUT KILLING YOURSELF!  
  
Clarice answered the door, on the second ring of the doorbell, just to be difficult. HE stood there, wearing a leather jacket, a tee shirt, rather big jeans held up with a floppy-belt and he carried a motorcycle helmet. Clarice peeked behind him to see his choice in transport; a gloriously kept Harley was set on her drive.  
  
"Hello, Doctor." She managed to say eyes glued to the bike.  
  
"Good evening to you, Clarice." He followed her gaze to the bike. "I couldn't bring the Jag, MOT, you know..." she nodded and looked at him, something was different.  
  
"Hi again, just checking... erm... you're NOT selling double-lazing then?"  
  
"It would seem unlikely to encounter a double-glazing salesman at this hour on this particular evening, Clarice." He chuckled at his retaliation technique  
  
"Oh, come in, unless you want to freeze, I mean, there just aren't enough snowmen down this street this year!"  
  
"I thought Christmas already came and went again... this could turn into a confusing subject. Aside from that, you look well, Clarice."  
  
"Thank you Doctor Lecter, you're still outside... erm... I don't have a back up SWAT team in here, come on, you're being weird!" she stated most of this, whispering the fact that he hadn't actually moved yet.  
  
"I thought you were used to weirdness now, that was what you said." He stepped inside, closing the door behind him. The doctor then took a look at himself in the mirror; he flicked the snow from his hair and followed her down the hallway.  
  
"D'you want something to eat, drink? No wine, mind you, just the classic ol' Jack Daniel's, Whiskey, Brandy, Tia Maria... umm... oh yeah, and some cointreau. That's all, and there's pizza, love the trousers!" She continued to walk into the living room and then stopped.  
  
"I apologise for the trousers, all I've got left at the moment."  
  
"No, no, no! I like them! They make you look more normal, relaxed, okay... they're cool! Criminal Damage? Whoa! You should be at a disturbed gig!"  
  
"Excuse me?" said the doctor, confused now.  
  
"Erm... don't worry, just keep the trousers on okay." She then realised the many implications of what she had said. The Good Doctor grinned, "I mean it, in whatever circumstances you think I mean. I actually meant don't throw them out!"  
  
"Out of where? The window?" Now it was getting annoying and difficult to keep a straight face.  
  
"Have you ever considered annoying people to death?"  
  
"Yes, it only works on you though..." He trailed off innocently.  
  
"Whatever." She said, turning to the cupboard to get two large glasses. "So, what're you drinking?" asked Clarice, holding up the glasses.  
  
"No wine, this could cause a problem, other than the 'classic ol' Jack Daniel's,' what do you suggest?"  
  
She looked at the choice of spirits.  
  
"Well, if I'd known you were coming, I would have dragged myself outside and-"  
  
"Shot yourself?"  
  
"No, I would've-"  
  
"Attempted suicide?"  
  
"SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH!" he stopped in mid suggestion. "If I'd known you were coming I would have dragged myself outside and gone to the liqueur store to get some tequila... or vodka, it's on special... I think."  
  
"Ohhhhhh, okay then, really? You'd do that for me?"  
  
"Well, a thought struck me when you called, have you ever been drunk?"  
  
"Promise not to tell another soul as long as you shall live?" he looked her in the eyes seriously.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I was drunk before I was a psychiatrist. It was my high school prom night and I got drunk with a few friends and woke up two towns away from the school. A slight bit more embarrassing than my incarceration, I must admit but there you are."  
  
"Is that it?" Clarice managed to say before she began to laugh "Just once? You are crazy! I must've been drunk about... well a lot of times in the last 2 years! I don't know about before, but there you are!"  
  
"Now, now, Clarice, I faked mentality, remember?"  
  
"How could I forget?"  
  
"Some people do... you must have a good memory."  
  
"Not as good as yours."  
  
"Thank you... That was a compliment, right?"  
  
"Are you always this easy to confuse?"  
  
"I'm feeling weird."  
  
"Yeah, I know that."  
  
"Mmm."  
  
Starling looked at Lecter; Hannibal looked back at Clarice.  
  
"You still haven't answered my question, what are you drinking?"  
  
"Hmmm, I'll go along with Jack Daniel's, just to see why you like it so much."  
  
"Heh, well, good luck to you!" Clarice chuckled as she poured him a generous amount of JD and Coke.  
  
**3 hours and a 3 and a half bottles of JD and Coke later**  
  
"So, the vicar gave a sickly smile, shook hands with the monkey, and he could never look a banana in the face again!" The doctor was well and truly drunk, Clarice however, had watched her own drinking but was feeling slightly funny in the head. Clarice realised she could get answers from him fairly easily without any quid pro quo involved when he was in this state.  
  
**20 minutes later**  
  
The doctor was out for the count,  
  
well done girl! You successfully managed to get the US most wanted drunk, I wonder if there's a cash prize?  
  
Clarice had managed to set Dr Lecter up on the sofa, pillow, and blanket. (Bucket). She went to her room and fell asleep straight away, not dreaming about Him or hearing the screams she had not managed to rid since her childhood.  
  
**In the morning.*  
  
Clarice fell out of bed and on to the floor with a THUD, after actually realising where she was and recalling the night before, she got up and walked soundlessly past the GD who was still sound-o. In the bathroom, she gave a small scream when she saw her reflection in the mirror...  
  
Wow! When did I last look like this?  
  
When she came out of the bathroom, she took the time to study what the Doctor actually looked like; he had that male morning 'ruff' look, with that stubble they seem to get every morning... rugged! He began to snore and Clarice began to shake with muffled laughter, he must've sensed it or something because he opened one eye then the other and sat up. He didn't actually look too good now.  
  
"Are you okay?" she asked him looking at him cautiously. Doctor Lecter held up a hand and then legged it to the bathroom, then threw up for about 20 minutes. Clarice shut the bathroom door and stood outside for a few minutes then she decided to get dressed.  
  
"Ugh. I'm strictly off of JDs' forever!" He stated, coming out of the bathroom.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"I will be in a minute." Lecter replied.  
  
"Doctor Lecter?"  
  
"Look, Clarice, I hate to sound rude an' all, but drop the formalities. call me Hannibal, okay?"  
  
"Oooookay then, do you want some breakfast, Hannibal?" she asked him.  
  
"No thank you I'll just bring it back up again."  
  
"Thanks for that," Clarice put the bacon back in the fridge and sat next to him on the couch, "so, what next?"  
  
"I should get going, I shouldn't really be here, happy New Year Clarice." Hannibal stood and walked to the front door.  
  
"You shouldn't be driving, not like that anyway." Clarice called down the hall.  
  
"I'll be fine."  
  
"Are you sure?" She was worried about him.  
  
"I'm sure, thank you for your hospitality, Clarice. Maybe I'll be 'passing through the neighbourhood' again sometime. See ya round." She went to him and hugged him, on an impulse, she didn't know why, so she went with it. Clarice was surprised when his lips met hers, only for a brief moment, but it was long enough for them both to say what they needed to without actually saying anything. Then he was gone.  
  
FOREVER LASTS FOREVER  
  
The Good Doctor was speeding down the street about five blocks from Clarices' house; he didn't see the pick-up truck pulling out of the drive.  
  
**5 hours later**  
  
Clarice was in her living room, talking to an officer of the law.  
  
"If it means anything to you, he didn't experience any pain. He died instantly."  
  
"Was the other driver okay?"  
  
"No, he died slowly, he got the steering column lodged in his stomach, very gory."  
  
"And Hannibal flew fifty feet down the street, and skinned his face, and arm. no pain, no gore? Get real!" She made the officer leave her house before retrieving her hidden .45 from her wardrobe. She held the gun at her head, "I love you, Hannibal."  
  
*BANG*  
  
She dropped to the floor. Her spirit rose to the skies. He was waiting for her. As he would forever and ever and ever, because forever lasts forever.  
  
!?THE END?! 


End file.
